RealTime Coaching™ F.A.Q.

Q. How do I coach someone who doesn’t want to be coached?

A. Ask them. Seriously! Don’t think of it as “Coaching” – think of it as communicating. Assuming you have already tried all of the RealTime Coaching™ (RTC) questions without success, perhaps you need to be very open - Leadership should be authentic and open. Respecting the behavioural style to determine your directness/ approach, you need to engage them to tell you how to best work with them – i.e. “John, as you know, one of my objectives is to lead all team members in a win/win manner for their professional growth and development. Having said that, I get the sense that I may not be effective in coaching or working with everybody and my goal is to improve my leadership. In your case, I’d like your help. If you were in my shoes ...” (then insert questions here). Some question phrasing may be: How do you suggest I approach you? What do you suggest I concentrate on?  What should I do more of and less of in supporting you? (Develop questions that you feel comfortable with and is practical for their style)

Recently in a client workshop, a client shared with the group that at times he has asked a subordinate to meet in his office. He asks them to sit in his chair, at his desk, before asking, “If you were me, what would you do?”

Coach/Leadership is strongest when built on open and authentic communication. As mentioned in the workshop, the trust factor is a critical foundation. Sometimes you don’t have all the answers for your people, but if you engage them humbly, they may share the answers with you. If you can progress in this case it will result in greater coaching effectiveness overall.

Q. I get so busy, I find it hard to find time to Coach. Any suggestions?

A. It is said that the more we speed up, the more time poverty we experience. Without knowing all the details of your situation, we can tell you that this is a common challenge, and one to which many managers have devised creative solutions that work for them and their situations. As Stephen Covey says in his 7 Habits, we are all faced with the war between what is urgent and what is important. In a nutshell, we need to do two things: Prioritize things that are important, and also Posteriorize unimportant things. By this we mean we need to always evaluate how we can concentrate on key actions and curtail less important activities that offer little ROE (Return On Energy). Of course, there are some organizational cultures that seem to attach code red urgency to everything. This challenges sustainable long term high performance and, in some cases, when prolonged may result in unwanted turnover. Your job as a leader is to filter as best you can to create some balance for you and your team. In general what we have seen is that it takes time, energy and effort to initiate coaching habits with subordinates. Once you and your team inculcate these habits (you get used to asking questions and being a "do with" leader – they get used to coming to you with solutions vs. problems)  it becomes easier, with shorter laser coaching sessions, and often results in less fire-fighting for you down the road.

The challenge of every leader is to balance the long term benefits of coaching with the short term urgencies that crowd your day. To stimulate some solutions to your time poverty, have a look at Brian Tracy’s Creative Problem Solving.

Remember, Coaching is leading with questions and therefore it is integrated into everyday communications and interactions (in real time).

Q: My boss is core Red and mismanages her team with her style. What do you suggest I do?   

Most of us can have behavioural blind spots and, as you know, the core red is no different. It is unlikely her mismanagement is intentional. The RTC Coaching/Communication questions are not just for subordinates. They can also be used to achieve greater effectiveness with your manager. Ask her what results she is trying to achieve. What are the consequences of how she is doing it? What are the options and how might she get better results faster?  Be frank, respectful but direct.

Q. I have a core Green on my team and can't get her to say "boo." In meetings, she is the only one that doesn't participate with the rest of the sales team. What can I do?  

A. The core green needs time to think through the questions and issues and also likes to hear the opinions of others. Is it possible to send out the agenda ahead of time? Is it possible to identify questions and issues before the meeting and to encourage the team to discuss them one-on-one prior to coming? When asking the core green questions at the meeting, ensure the questions are non-threatening and that you and the others remain respectfully silent and give him/her time to answer. The reds and yellows are generally impatient and ask the question two or three different ways and by that time the green thinks you already have the answer and don't need it from them. Be patient in encouraging them and if they have some ideas when you speak to them individually, you may want to ask if they could share it with the team at the next meeting.

More of your Questions and Answers coming soon!

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